猩時評：漢密爾頓對不起，我站維斯塔潘

The battle between Lewis Hamilton and Max Verstappen will be decided in the final race of the season

劉易斯·漢密爾頓和克斯·維斯塔潘將在本賽季*的最後一場比賽中一決勝負

*此處的“本賽季”指F1的2021賽季。在當時的賽季收官戰阿布扎比站的正賽爭奪中，維斯塔潘超越漢密爾頓，問鼎冠軍。

CARL DE SOUZA/AFP VIA GETTY IMAGES

圖爲法新社記者卡爾·德·蘇薩拍攝

It’s strange that, suddenly, Formula One, a sport I’ve followed since I was about nought, has captured the world’s imagination and that as a result it won’t just be me watching the title-deciding race in Abu Dhabi this afternoon. It’s going to be a water-cooler event. It’s like Rod Stewart waking up one morning to find that everyone else has suddenly become interested in model railways. For years he’s kept his Hornby 00 hobby a secret, and then, in a flash, everyone is cornering him at parties, desperate to know whether it’s OK to team GWR rolling stock with Flying Scotsman. (It isn’t.)

說來奇怪，世界一級方程式賽車錦標賽——這項我自打在孃胎裏就一直關注着的運動，竟然一夜之間讓全世界爲之着迷，這意味着無數觀衆將和我共同觀看今天下午在阿布扎比舉行的冠軍爭奪戰。這場比賽事關重大，將成爲所有人在辦公室裏激情討論的熱門話題。就好像，洛·史都華[1]某天早上醒來發現，所有人都突然對鐵路模型產生了興趣一樣。多年以來，他對霍恩比00軌距火車模型的愛好一直是個祕密，然而卻突然得到了關注——大家都開始在派對上圍堵他，熱切地想要知道，讓飛天蘇格蘭人號機車跑在大西部鐵路上到底行不行（答案是不行）。

[1]洛·史都華：著名英國搖滾樂手，20世紀60年代搖滾樂“英國入侵”時期的標誌性人物。

On Wednesday evening I was in a room full of billionaires celebrating a mate’s knighthood, and all they could talk about was Lewis and Max. And the next day I had lunch with a bunch of luvvies and horse enthusiasts and it was the same story. Andrew Lloyd Webber didn’t actually ask in so many words if Red Bull could improve its rear-wing design, but I could see he was thinking it.

週三晚上，我跟一屋子億萬富翁坐在一起，慶祝其中某位朋友得到了爵士頭銜。大家的談資，無非就是劉易斯和麥克斯這兩個人，而第二天我跟一羣演員朋友以及賽馬愛好者們共進午餐時，情況也是一樣的。安德魯·勞埃德·韋伯[1]並沒有把“紅牛車隊會不會升級賽車尾翼”的話問出口，但我看得出來，他心裏且在琢磨呢。

[1]安德魯·勞埃德·韋伯：英國音樂劇作曲家，代表作《歌劇魅影》《貓》。

It’s not just because this year’s championship has been so closely fought. There have been others that have gone down to the wire as well. And it’s not just because the two protagonists are so different. You’ve got Lewis Hamilton, who is so hilariously on message, he’s off it. He stands there with his serious tax-dodging but knighted face telling everyone to cut their emissions, while circumnavigating the globe so that he can race a 1,000-horsepower car that was sponsored by a company whose insulation was on Grenfell Tower.

人們如此關注，不僅是因爲今年的這場冠軍爭奪戰本身就十分激烈——畢竟過去曾有很多賽季也是不到最後不見分曉；也不僅僅是因爲兩位主角是如此迥異。其中一位主角是劉易斯·漢密爾頓，他十分擅長且熱衷於用滑稽的方式向外界傳達信息[1]。他往那兒一站就擺出一副“我偷稅避稅，但我是爵士”的正經神情，告訴每個人要減少自己的碳排放，而他自己卻在環遊世界，這樣就可以駕駛着一部千匹馬力的車子去比賽了。而且這部車子本身，還是由一家採用了格蘭菲爾塔[2]同款阻燃材料的公司贊助的。

[1]指漢密爾頓喜歡通過身穿帶標語的上衣對公衆表達觀點。

[2]指2017年6月14日發生重大火災事故的格蘭菲爾塔，發生火災的高層居民樓外牆材料是價格較低的不防火材料，雖然該種材料在英國符合建築標準，但在德國卻被列爲易燃材料，在美國則早在2012年就被禁止作爲高層建築材料。英國多家媒體認爲，此次大火暴露出英國安全監管方面的諸多漏洞。此處克拉克森是在諷刺梅奔車隊。

Then there’s Max Verstappen, who’s a yob. His dad, Jos, a Dutch racing driver from the 1990s, was convicted of threatening his wife and violating a restraining order.

而另一位主角，是麥克斯·維斯塔潘。他是個舉止粗俗的小無賴。他父親，喬斯·維斯塔潘，是上世紀九十年代的一位荷蘭賽車手，曾因威脅他妻子和違反限制令而被定罪。

They are both epic drivers, though. For what it’s worth, I think Max is probably better as a helmsman. He just seems to be able to get more out of the car than it is capable of delivering. His qualifying lap in Saudi Arabia last weekend was probably the best driving I’ve seen. Right up to the point when he crashed.

漢密爾頓和維斯塔潘，都是傳奇車手。但就含金量而言，我認爲維斯塔潘或許更勝一籌。他能將一輛賽車的性能利用到極致，而且似乎還能更進一步激發出它的潛力。他在上週末的沙特大獎賽排位賽中的表現，大概是我見過的最好的駕駛姿態了——直到他在最後一個彎道撞車的那一刻。

But when it comes to wheel-to-wheel racing, Lewis probably has the edge. When the chips are down, he gets canny. He’s cleverer. More calculating. So we have a battle of maths versus violence. One of them is playing chess in Reykjavik and the other’s in a bare-knuckle cage on a hot night in Bangkok.

但在那種兩車在賽道上並駕齊驅，輪對輪肉搏的情景下，漢密爾頓可能更有優勢。當賽場上形勢嚴峻，他就會變得精明狡猾。他比別的車手更聰明，更精於算計。這就爲我們帶來了一場數學與蠻力的對決。漢密爾頓和維斯塔潘，一個就像是在雷克雅未克冷靜地下棋，另一個則像在曼谷炎熱的夜晚參與着一場裸拳格鬥。

The main reason, though, why this year’s championship finale has captured everyone’s imagination is a series on Netflix called Formula 1: Drive to Survive.

然而，今年的這場冠軍總決賽如此吸引人的主要原因在於，奈飛推出了一檔名爲《一級方程式：極速爭勝》的系列紀錄片。

The normal F1 coverage is awful. You have a bunch of guys in stupendously tight trousers talking for hours about what might happen before the race. They’re so keen to demonstrate that they’re in the inner circle that they use the same terms as the teams use, and the same acronyms, seemingly unbothered by the fact that no one in the real world knows what deg is. And take those headphones off your head, and don’t wear such big microphone packs, you buffoons.

一般媒體對F1賽事的新聞報道都挺爛的。賽前，一羣穿着緊身鉛筆褲的傢伙們會滔滔不絕好幾個小時，來討論賽場上可能會發生什麼。他們非常渴望證明自己處於賽事的核心圈層，所以他們會跟車隊使用相同的專業術語和縮略語，而對於現實中並沒人知道“輪胎退化”是什麼意思，他們似乎也毫不關心。我說的就是正在看着這篇專欄的記者們，給我把那個大耳麥從頭上摘下來，也別頂着一頭麥克風組件了，你們這羣跳樑小醜。

Anyway, when they finally shut up, we get a terrible rendition of the host country’s turgid national anthem, followed by a frantic first corner, followed by a two-hour race that sounds likes waves breaking on a beach. It’s Mogadon with turbocharging and is so sonorous, I never, ever, get to lap three without falling asleep.

總之，當那些記者們終於閉嘴的時候，就會響起主辦國的那首雄壯且浮誇的國歌，糟糕的演奏聲在賽場內迴盪。接着，就是雞飛狗跳的第一個彎道，然後，就是兩個小時漫長的比賽，聽起來就像海浪在持續拍打海岸一樣。那就是帶有渦輪增壓的安眠藥，而且聲音無比渾厚響亮。每次在現場，還沒等到車手們跑到第三圈，我就忍不住開始打瞌睡了。

Netflix changed all that. It gave us edited highlights. F1 without the oxpeckers. It allowed us to hear what the drivers were really saying to their teams during the races and what the team bosses were saying about the drivers afterwards. It showed us the glamour and the excitement, but it also showed us the warts and the STIs. And we got to know the people.

奈飛的紀錄片改變了這一切。它爲我們帶來了一些剪輯過的高光時刻，使得F1賽事看起來就像身上沒有啄牛鴉的犀牛一樣純粹。它讓我們聽到了車手們在比賽中和車隊成員之間的真實交流，以及車隊老闆們在賽後對車手們做出的評價。它向我們展示了F1魅力四射和激動人心的一面，也揭露了一些見不得檯面的東西。此外，我們還能瞭解到一衆人物。

I fell in love with Guenther Steiner, the team boss of Haas, and developed a deep fondness for Esteban Ocon, a young French driver with the Alpine team. People the mainstream broadcasters never talk to.

我愛上了哈斯車隊的老闆岡瑟·施泰納，並對Alpine車隊的年輕法國車手埃斯特班·奧康產生了深深的好感。而這些人，則是主流廣播公司從未與之交談過的。

That’s why we will all be on the edge of our seats today, lapping up a winner-takes-all, do-or-die gladiatorial battle at 200mph in the desert. It’s Maximus versus Commodus.

這就是爲什麼我們今天都會熱情高漲地觀看這場比賽——車手們在沙漠中以300多公里的時速飛馳，展開一場贏家通喫、猶豫就會敗北的角鬥士之戰。這就是馬克西姆斯與科莫德斯[1]之間的那場生死決戰。

[1]馬克西姆斯與科莫德斯，出自羅馬典故。因受羅馬皇帝科莫德斯嫉妒而遭迫害的馬克西姆斯將軍，在成爲奴隸後，因其在角鬥比賽中的出色表現，再次被帶到皇帝面前。科莫德斯與之相見，分外眼紅，親自下場跟馬克西姆斯決鬥。一番殊死搏鬥後，代表榮譽、自由和正義的馬克西姆斯打敗了代表權力、貪婪和暴虐的科莫德斯。

We’ve been told that whoever finishes in front will be crowned world champion. But it’s not that simple. Because if Max crashes into Lewis, and both are forced to retire, then Max will be champion because he’s won one more race than Lewis this year.

我們都知道，誰能在這次決戰中率先衝線，誰就將加冕世界冠軍。但事情並沒那麼簡單。如果維斯塔潘撞向漢密爾頓，並且兩個人都不得不退賽，那麼維斯塔潘將加冕年度冠軍——因爲他在這個賽季，比漢密爾頓多贏了一場比賽。

Would you deliberately crash your car into a rival to win the championship? I doubt it, but it’s happened before. Senna did it. Prost is alleged to have done it. Even Schumacher was accused of it. But there was no VAR back then. There is now, though, and the word is that if the stewards reckon Max staged the crash on purpose, he will be disqualified. We may not know who the world champion is, then, until long after the race is over.

你會故意讓賽車撞向對手從而贏得冠軍嗎？我對此持懷疑態度。但這種事以前也有發生。塞納就這麼做過，普羅斯特也被懷疑這麼做過，甚至連舒馬赫也因此遭受過指控。但當時還沒有VAR視頻助理裁判。不過，現在賽場上確實有了，而且有消息稱，如果賽會幹事們認爲維斯塔潘故意引發事故，他就將被取消比賽資格。這就意味着，不到比賽結束，我們都不可能知道誰將成爲世界冠軍。

I hope you’ll forgive the rather rambling nature of this week’s column, but this is a sport I’ve loved all my life and for the first time ever it’s socially acceptable to talk about it.

我希望你能原諒我在本週的這篇專欄文章裏的自說自話，但這是我今生摯愛的賽車運動，而這是它第一次被社會所廣泛接受和熱議。

Back in the glory days of Top Gear we had a giant picture on our office wall of James Hunt sitting on his McLaren after a race with a fag in one hand and a can of Carling in the other, and next to him was a “dolly bird” in a gold lamé jumpsuit. And you could see he was thinking, “Which of these three things shall I have first?”

回想當年《最高擋》的那些燦爛的時日，我記得我們辦公室牆上掛着一張詹姆斯·亨特的巨幅照片——在一場比賽後，他坐在自己的邁凱輪上，一隻手夾着香菸，另一隻手拿着一罐卡靈啤酒，身旁還有一位穿着金色緞面運動服套裝的迷人女子。你可以看出他在暗自思忖：“在這三樣東西里，我應該先享受哪一樣？”

It’s almost certain you couldn’t put up a picture like that in the BBC today. Drink, smoking, fast cars and girls are all not allowed. And yet F1 has edged its way from those days to this weekend and survived. Which means I can finish off now by saying loudly and proudly: go, Max. You may be a Belgian yob, but I’m rooting for you, boy.

幾乎可以肯定，現在你不能在BBC的電視節目上播放這樣的照片了。喝酒、吸菸、開快車和泡美妞兒，都是不被允許的。然而，從過去的那些日子到這個週末，F1逐步發展並且得以倖存。這意味着我現在可以用一句大聲而自豪的話，來結束今天這篇文章——前進吧，麥克斯。你或許只是個比利時小混混，但我支持你，孩子！

翻譯：趙煦可

校對：張然

責任編輯：李嘯塵

發佈：段永康